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Joke of the Day
"Why are some musicians so antisocial? Because all they want is tonics and dominance."
Next Joke
"This mothers day send the gift of Microsoft Office Word to your mother"
"Call me old-fashioned, but marriage should be about a man aligning forces with a trusted ally to consolidate power & destroy common enemies"
"TIL I'm bad at posting at the right subreddit"
"What's the cheapest concert you can go to? 50 cent feat. Nickelback."
"I call my penis Valyrian Steel.... Because it slays pale, icy bitches and no one really knows how it works."
"What do maggots and Alabama fans have in common? They can both live off a dead bear for years."
"Picked up our Christmas tree from the lot today AND my wife hasn't shaved in 3 weeks. Noble fir in the streets. Noble fur in the sheets."
"I always say: ""Sex is a lot like pizza. How? Well, let me tell you about the worst pizza I ever had:"" ...it was fantastic."
"I met a woman at happy hour... She had a tattoo on her bikini line. It was a picture of a conch shell. She said ""If you put your ear to it, you can smell the ocean""."