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Joke of the Day

"What do maggots and Alabama fans have in common? They can both live off a dead bear for years."

"Oscar Pistorius wants to install a new bathroom door... but his girlfriend is dead against it"

"What's the difference between a statesman and a politician? A statesman is a dead politician. God knows we need more statesman."

"The sun is so self centered... It acts like the world revolves around it."

"Why was the mother flea so unhappy? All her children had gone to the dogs."

"Stevie Wonder walked into a bar He never saw it coming."

"Son, let me tell you the story of the Three Bears. A girl broke into their house and they ate her. Stay out of my stuff, goodnight"

"ME: I'm not voting for anyone CLINTON: that's a vote for Trump! TRUMP: that's a vote for Clinton! ME: looks like I'm voting twice then"

"Knock knock ""who's there?"" ""Europe"" ""Europe who?"" ""No, you're a poo"""

"5: let's play the quiet game. Me: Okay 5: ready..? Start. Me: 5: Me: 5: whoever talks first is the loser."