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Joke of the Day

"Pokemon GO servers are like my life right now. Up and down and disappointing anyone who knows what it is."

"When I die I want to be cremated and blown in the faces of my enemies"

"A small blue garden bird made of mahogany. It would be funny if I had a punchline.. Wooden tit."

"Wife: for the last time buy a terrarium Me: [drops 7 lizards into my shirt] why they already have a home"

"""So you think you can dance."" should be the title of a Lifetime movie about strippers."

"What does an electric engineer say when they get kicked in the balls? Owch! it hertz"

"PMS jokes are not funny... Period."

"What should you NOT name your pet chicken? Robin, else he'll be robin the cock"

"Knock knock Who's there? I need up! I need up who? Well go on then, I'll wait"

"Why should you never go drinking if you wear a monocle? Because then you'd be a barnacle."