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Joke of the Day

"Fairly Dark Joke I really hate it when people tell jokes about suicide. So whenever they tell them, I just stare at them instead of laughing. That'll show them. That'll show them all."

"Where do llamas go on vacation? Alpacapuco"

"Just farted in 3 different languages! Thanks, Rosetta Stone!"

"Q: How many Hillary Clintons does it take to change a light bulb? A: One--she just holds the bulb and the world revolves around her."

"Cigarettes are just like hamsters. They're perfectly harmless until you stick one in your mouth and light it on fire."

"M: If I cashew looking through my windows agai- H: What? M: I saw you pecan! H: No, I wasn- M: You're macadamian me mad. H: You're nuts."

"NEWS ITEM. Kidnappers grabbed a little boy and two days later sent him home with a ransom note. His parents immediately sent the kid back with the money."

"I've had insomnia so much it is starting to worry me. But I won't lose any sleep over it."

"Sorry the edible underwear weren't edible anymore by the time you tried to eat them. It was a long drive to your apartment."

"Q: Why was the teacher cross-eyed? A: He couldn't control his pupils."