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Joke of the Day

"For decades now microwave designers have labored under the false assumption that people want extra features on their microwave. They don't."

"I married a chinese millionaire Ka Ching"

"What's a junkie's favorite videogame? Need for Speed."

"My fridge exploded. . . And there are pieces of de-brie everywhere."

"I just invented a new word. Plagiarism"

"How do you feel when there's no more coffee? depresso"

"A guy walks into a bar... Alcoholism is slowly destroying his family."

"VILLIAN: all this money is mine BANK TELLER: help us Velcroman, he's getting away VELCROMAN: *stuck to the floor* who puts carpet in a bank?"

"In my defense I told him it was my cheat day and I didn't understand why he brought home cupcakes and not Juan from the gym"

"What's the difference between a Blues musician and a Jazz musician? A blues musician plays 3 chords to audiences of thousands. A jazz musician plays thousands of chords to audiences of 3"