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Joke of the Day

"I had a joke about the Baltimore Riots But someones already stolen it :("

"And the award for the best neckwear goes to... Huh, would you look at that, it was a tie."

"Teacher and Student Teacher: Whoever answers my next question, can go home. One boy throws his bag out the window. Teacher: Who just threw that? Boy: Me and I'm going home now."

"*lady shares a wallet photo of her son* *i pull out a 20-part accordion wallet photo set of my dogs*"

"Im tired of the movies, I miss the Transformers cartoon. That's when Optimus was in his prime"

"NSFW. What do you get when you mix a rooster with peanut butter? A cock that sticks to the roof of your mouth."

"HR: know why you're here? Me: I put my tongue in the candy cutter Union: well..unsafe..but fired? HR: the candy cutter's name is Trish"

"Why are jalapenos so annoying? Because they get jalapeno business."

"""I'd do filthy things to that Princess from Star Wars"" *""What, Leia?""* ""Well obviously - but I was thinking more of a rim-job and a soapy titwank"""

"[high school sex ed class] *scoffs* When are we ever going to use this in real life"