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Joke of the Day
"What has 2 legs and bleeds a lot? Half a cat."
Next Joke
"(.)(.) + $$ = ( . )( . )"
"A wife asks her newfie husband to stop by the grocery store on the way home... She tells him, ""pick up a loaf of bread, and if they have eggs, get a dozen"" He comes home later with 12 loaves of bread"
"FYI guys: If a girl plays w/ her hair while talking to u, it means she has an itchy scalp, possibly lice. Stay away, it is very contagious."
"You're all invited to my second bar mitzvah where I become a child once again"
"Me: I save a bunch of time by not having to tie my shoes. Her: What do you do with the time saved? Me: *tying my dogs shoes* Sorry, what?"
"How does Sherlock prefer his tea? Steeped in mystery!"
"I got hit by a rental car today. It Hertz."
"What do you call a Polish airplane? A Jet-ski."
"I have a solution to procrastination I will tell you tomorrow"