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Joke of the Day

"When I grow up and have kids... I think I will stay a virgin to set a good example."

"You're never gonna believe this, but I feel negatively about the day of the week when I have to stop relaxing and resume working."

"A jewish boy goes up to his father and says ""Abba, I need 40 dollars."" The father looks surprised and says "" THIRTY DOLLARS? What do you need Twenty dollars for?"""

"How many cops does it take to change a light bulb? Two... One to beat the the room for being black and the other to beat the switch for being broke."

"Knock. Knock. Oh. Hang on a minute..... I haven't thought this through.."

"Why did the dolphin commit suicide? Because his life had no porpoise"

"If the ESPN Fantasy Football app were slower and unreliable it would be playing quarterback for the Bears."

"Two dyslexic men walk into a bra."

"Shout out to octopi. The spiders of the sea since 1981."

"Perplexed student Told him he looked about as confused as a blind lesbian in a tuna cannery."