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Joke of the Day

"Why did the female warrior prefer the armor smith over the weapon smith? The weapon smith was a bit rapier"

"I can't have kids CUZ the second they disrespect me hooomaaagaww I would throw a child out a window"

"Says she: ""Say something soft and sweet"" Says he: ""Marshmallow."""

"Cloudy with a chance of meatballs? Talk about a meatier shower!"

"What does the British monarchy and yeast have in common? They're both inbred."

"What happens if you steal in Afghanistan? You get Talibanned"

"How do you circumcise a hillbilly? Kick his mother in the jaw."

"I dated a guy who always kneeled and prayed before sex. I still don't know if he was scared of what I'd do or thankful. Either way, amen."

"People only hate jury duty because they have to go to a courthouse. Let em stay home and they'll tweet who's guilty all day."

"A Jew and a purse Once went a Jew, found a purse, picked it up: - Shit! 200 dollars are missing!"