111436

Joke of the Day

"""Your word is 'oujia'"" -could you use that in a seance? [spelling bee judge puts hand over the mic] I think.. I think this guy just won"

"twitter has a very ""high school class where the teacher had to leave the room for a few minutes"" vibe"

"New machine at the gym. They installed a new machine at my gym today, I managed to do 2 hours on it. They do all sorts. Snickers, Kit-kats, Mars bars, you name it..."

"What anime do Mexicans watch? Boku no Pico de Gallo"

"I'm trying to tell fewer dick jokes But it's really hard"

"""Give it to me"", she screamed ""I'm so fucking wet, give it to me now"" ""Fuck off"", I said ""this is my umbrella"""

"Why are pot heads always so condescending? They always think they're higher then others"

"What's red and orange and looks good on hippies.... Fire."

"What do you call people who immigrate to Sweden? Artificial Swedeners"

"My friend told me he thought I was a hipster. I told him I thought I was a hipster way before he did."