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Joke of the Day

"If you hear someone sing Jingle Bells and you don't respond with Batman smells then I don't wanna be friends with you."

"How fast can a bear run? As fast as it can bear."

"""Everything you say can and will be used against you"" should be included in marriage vows."

"Why is it so hard to break up with a Japanese girl? You have to drop the bomb twice."

"How to sound authentically Irish when bewildered, befuddled, confounded, or just generally in a tizzy. Say this phrase: Whale oil beef hooked."

"It puts the vodka in its mouth or else it sees the ugly girls."

"There's been a toothpaste scandal. The press have called it Col-Gate."

"What did the hurricane say to the palm tree? ""Hold on to your nuts, this is no ordinary blow job!"""

"OMFG! THAT'S what 'food baby' means?!?! You guys, I just made a horrible mistake. :("

"Where is the gangster egg from? The Upper Sunny-Side"