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Joke of the Day

"It's my epileptic friend's birthday soon so I got him a strobe light. He's going to have a fucking fit when he sees it."

"Einstein quietly lays in bed next to a obviously disappointed partner.. After a few minutes of awkward silence he turns to her and says, ""You see, it was fast to you..."""

"Why was the dolphin happy and the shark depressed? The sharks life lacked porpoise."

"I decided to make my password ""incorrect"" because if I type it in wrong, my computer will remind me, ""Your password is incorrect."""

"Learn how to Wiener Boop https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=exb1yVD8SHU&list=UUq54nlcoX-0pLcN5RhxHyug"

"What do you call a black woman who's had 4 abortions? A crime fighter."

"Thanks, Obama! The one time the Republicans are actually happy it is Obama's fault that Trump is President."

"Did you hear about the 6 guys and the woman that went fishing? The guys didn't catch anything, but the woman came home with a red snapper."

"How come Smokey the Bear doesn't have any children? Every time his wife gets hot he beats her with a shovel."

"Pavlov is sitting at a pub enjoying a pint; the phone rings,and he jumps up shouting: ""Oh Shit, I forgot to feed the dog!"""