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Joke of the Day

"They say that murder rates go down with more employment, so I bet if we gave everybody jobs murdering people, they'd be really bad at it."

"YouTube: ""Sorry, this video is not available in your country.""Me: ""Fucking racist!!!!"""

"The show Hoarders is like a snooze button for cleaning your house, ""My place isn't that bad, I can go another week"""

"I think Sarah Jessica Parker quit the church when the minister giggled & said, ""Let us bray."""

"[Programmer Joke] Why did the int drown? Because he couldn't float! (Insert laughter here)"

"This year for Lent, I'm giving up"

"Two greek anarchists are sitting together making molotov cocktails. One says ""so, who are we going to throw these at?"" the other replies: ""what are you, a fucking intellectual?"""

"My wife asked if I ever think about someone else during sex... ""Nope, just myself."""

"My mom got one of the bracelets that help you with balance, so I pushed her into the shelf at walmart. It doesn't work."

"Ice cream van accidents are very rare... But unfortunately, they always result in the loss of hundreds and thousands."