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Joke of the Day

"Whoever said white people can't jump... Obviously hasn't heard of 9/11"

"The difference between a Life Scout and an Eagle Scout. A Life Scout is ready for anything. The Eagle Scout is ready for Murphy's Law."

"Marijuana is not a gateway drug... I have never been smoking weed and thought, ""I know what this needs! Meth!..."""

"A Mexican magician tells an audience he can disappear at the could of three. He counts ""One, two, *poof*"" He disappeared without a tres."

"A young Bruce Wayne falls into a cave full of pugs. He later becomes Pugman and keeps the streets of Gotham clean and downright adorable."

"Q: What do you call an 800 pound gorilla? A: Anything he wants to be called."

"My girlfriend asked me if I had a secret pet name for her. Judging by the look on her face, 'sperm whale' was not an appropriate answer."

"[Duck support group] ""After i lost Barbara I was doing bread 5, maybe 6 times a day"" *the other ducks nod sympathetically*"

"When I was a kid I was full of piss and vinegar... Now I'm just pissin' vinegar."

"""Why Isn't The Media Covering This?"" the media asks other media, peering into its media mirror, media-ing before a day of media in media."