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Joke of the Day

"Two Lumberjacks were killed during a recent hurricane. The next day's headline read: ""Nature Shows Idiomatic Side; Kills Two Beards with One Storm""."

"The Baby Boomers decided to leave us with one last present. This Presidential election."

"I am 38, last night i was out with my 19 y.o. girlfriend and someone yelled ""paedophile!"" ... It completely ruined our 10 year anniversary."

"I was just diagnosed with a severe lack of empathy. But I'm gonna keep going strong! The last thing I will do is start feeling sorry for myself."

"Watched a TV show about Stroke Survivors last night Needless to say it was a bit one sided"

"Nerdiest joke I know. I'd tell you a joke about UDP packets, but I'm not sure you'd get it."

"Hey, Can I take you to Hogwarts? Because I'm 9 and 3/4."

"For just 3 cents a day, all of my followers can help me quit my job..."

"Batman: *puts on glasses* Hey do I still look like Bruce Wayne? Superman: Um obviously. Batman: Think about that for a second."

"I grew up in a rough part of town... The local youths used to cover me in chocolate and cream, then put a cherry on my head. Life was tough in the gateau."