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Joke of the Day

"Mark Twain used to travel with a podium from his hometown. Ah yes, his Hannibal Lectern."

"Using his trademark roundhouse kick, Chuck Norris once made a fieldgoal in RJ Stadium in Tampa Bay from the 50 yard line of Qualcomm stadium in San Diego."

"What is the difference between a Catholic and a Baptist? A catholic will say ""hello"" to you in the liquor store."

"My daughter is so ugly... ...everytime I molest her I have to close my eyes and think of her sister."

"My wife says ""I want to go... ...somewhere i've never been before."" I said, why not try the kitchen."

"Why was 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 had a six-shooter"

"I hope at the end of the movie, Batman and Superman have to sit down and write a list of all the things they appreciate about each other."

"So we didn't get the first woman President, it's an even bigger step... ...the first developmentally disabled President!"

"Why can't Ray Charles drive? He's dead."

"My job blocked the Favstar website and I'm not sure if I should quit or take hostages. Haha! Jk. I'm totally taking hostages."