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Joke of the Day

"I just want to have enough followers so that my children can tweet comfortably for the rest of their lives."

"What do you call a book filled with outlines of Star Wars characters? A Kylo Ren Book"

"Owning a sword is like being a horny priest... Owning a sword is like being a horny priest, even though you want to, you can never use it without breaking the law."

"A sheep, a drum, and a snake fall down a cliff... bahhh dum hisss"

"If a person with down's gets high Do they become a normal person?"

"TIFU By Eating My Boss's Sandwich Oops wrong sub."

"What's the difference between a carpenter and a construction worker? 30 IQ points. This, as any carpenter will tell you, isn't a joke."

"Homework is like a penis.... its long and hard unless you're asian."

"""Are you a cop? You have to tell me if you're a cop."" ""I'm a cop."" ""So you're a cop AND a gun dealer? Random, but okay let's do this shit"""

"Today I walked up to some girls and asked if they liked guys with big dicks They replied yeah. I replied, ""I'm sorry for wasting your time..."" turned around and walked away awkwardly."