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Joke of the Day
"What do you call a Mexican with no legs? Cuntswaylow."
Next Joke
"After having three children I started having trouble remembering their names... So I just called them Eenie, Meanie, and Moiney. I didn't want any Mo."
"When I was in college I had all these philosophical questions. Now I just want to know how these kids got toothpaste under the toilet seat."
"For Christmas last year I got a sweater. This year I'd prefer a moaner or a squirter."
"Ain't no sandwich when she's gone."
"My reaction to Kit Kat prices: $1 good deal. $1.25 ok. $1.50 whoa. $1.75 what are we at the OPERA?!"
"If Ryan Gosling doesn't ask me to be his valentine, I'm moving on. This ship has sailed. This ball has sunk. This fart has flatulated."
"What rock group has four men that don't sing? Mount Rushmore"
"[NSFW] I'm trying this new thing where I don't beat off It's hard"
"How can you tell if a farmer is a good farmer? He's out standing in his field"