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Joke of the Day

"Mexican version of Gingerbread Man I thought there was a Mexican version of the ""Gingerbread Man"" story. But it was a flan-fiction."

"-hey don't shoot me, i'm just the messenger! -oh the letter says to shoot me? okay th-"

"What is the difference between love and lust? Spiiting and swallowing."

"Guys, stop with the vagina jokes. Period."

"I'm not saying you started that fire, Billy Joel; I'm just saying that innocent people don't write songs to defend themselves."

"[knock on door] Who is it? ""Jeff"" Jeff from work or Jeff who lies about his identity? ""Jeff from work"" [opens door] ""Sucker"""

"If you can't handle me at my drunkest, you don't deserve me when I'm sober."

"My life is like a beautiful piece of furniture from IKEA. Once I figure out how to put it all together, I may get to actually enjoy it."

"Sorry, ""hella"" was an inappropriate word choice. I was trying to be cool. I'll rephrase: Your son is totally missing."

"My boyfriend wants to do it like three times a week-----together. He's so demanding!"