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Joke of the Day

"Really threw me off This kid started throwing out words that started with TH. I got through this, there, and they but I didn't see that coming."

"Anytime I see a person wrapped in a Snuggie, I think, that's a person I could easily set on fire."

"Just before my girlfriend and I had sex for the first time... I told her I was gonna give her 9 inches. Just as long as she was willing to take 3 inch payments"

"Beethoven asks his audience: ""Is everyone ready to hear some symphonies!?"" The audience cheers as Beethoven exclaims: ""I can't hear you!"""

"If you call Starbucks ""Starbs,"" I hope you get totes murds."

"What did the man in the ""Race for a Cure"" say to the three people beside him? ""we're walking four abreast."""

"The difference between ""like"" ""love"" and ""in love"" is the same as the difference between ""for now"" ""for a while"" and ""forever"""

"Is PETA aware that we're still struggling with the ethical treatment of humans?"

"I'm not saying your mom's a whore... But if she were a video game she'd be rated E for everyone."

"What do bed detectives solve? Pillow cases"