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Joke of the Day

"5 years ago today, I quit drinking And 4 years, 364 days, and 12 hours ago today, I started again"

"A baby was born with no eyes lids... So the doctors decided to circumcise him and use the skin to craft new eyes lids. They botched it though and he came out looking a bit cock-eyed."

"If your Polly wants a cracker, he's a white supremacist"

"What is green and has wheels Grass. I lied about the wheels."

"What does a martial artist get at starbucks Chai Tea"

"What is Guns N' Roses' favorite type of sandwich? Pananananana ni ni (to the tune of Welcome to the Jungle) And that's a thatinternetexporer original"

"What did Mr. Cena's fiancee say on their wedding day? No, John! *You* can't see *me!*"

"Can someone please explain this joke to me ""It shoulds be spelled 'colllllllllllllege cause ive taken far more than 2 L's"" My friend sais L means loses but loses of what"

"If you were stressed out yesterday Does that make you past tense?"

"One does not simply talk to their pet in a normal voice....no they don't, oh no they don't."