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Joke of the Day

"TIL Humans eat more carrots than rabbits I can't remember the last time I ate a rabbit"

"Why were screams coming from the kitchen? The cook was beating the eggs."

"You know, I frankly don't find Isaac Newton's work all that original. I mean, half of his works were all derivatives anyway."

"What is black and doesn't work? Decaffeinated coffee."

"My colleague at work said I'm a gullible twat. Who am I to argue with the current WWE champion?"

"What did Humpty Dumpty say to his girlfriend when she said they were breaking up? Is this some sort of yolk?"

"[shoves the new kid] ur in the wrong ballet class loser, this is for the experts only [low-5s closest bro while maintaining eye contact]"

"I really want to buy one of those grocery checkout dividers But the cashier keeps putting it back."

"Chuck Norris was at an interview ... And he ended up giving the guy head but didn't give him the job."

"What's the difference between a musician and a large cheese pizza? A large cheese pizza can feed a family of four."