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Joke of the Day

"Just before a Subway employee starts making my sandwich, I'll stop them and whisper, ""Like you mean it."""

"Do Irish people make good optometrists? Eye!"

"I asked my professor how long my paper should be. He said it should be like a woman's skirt... Long enough to cover the subject but short enough to be interesting."

"I went to the zoo the other day, there was only one dog in it. It was a shitzu."

"Will glass coffins be a success? Remains to be seen."

"Why did the cheeseburger fight the veggie burger? It had beef."

"Her: ""Your funny"" Me: "".... Uh ya... this isn't gonna work"""

"Me: I just need some time alone, please. *closes door* - Ma'am, if you're not trying on clothes, we'll need you to leave the dressing room."

"I've only been wrong once, and that's when I thought I was wrong."

"Does a roller coaster like its work? It has its ups and downs."