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Joke of the Day

"A new study shows body-image issues start as young as 3. How awful. That means 2-year-olds with gross bodies think they look okay."

"Gift cards are another way of saying, don't spend this on dope."

"People keep telling me i'm self-deprecating. I don't think i deserve that."

"Knock KNOCK Who's there? Orange Orange who? ORANGE YOU HAPPY I DIDN'T SAY ORANGE . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . . v v TLDR I'm dead on the inside"

"I saw the Fast and the Furious 7 today... What has more brains then Paul Walker? The steering wheel..."

"I would watch a reality show that's nothing but goth kids trying not to smile while riding on a jet ski."

"What's the difference between a white Jew and a black Jew? Black Jews have to get in the back of the oven."

"Be thankful for Twitter. The way gas prices are headed, we're never going to meet real people ever again."

"What do you call a womans vagina after having a baby... ""Baby Gap"""

"How many birds does it take to change a lightbulb? Toucan."