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Joke of the Day
"Want to hear a good construction joke? I'm still working on it..."
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"I was having sex with a female amputee in the dark I trying to figure out why my ass hurt, but she had me stumped."
"One time, Chuck Norris accidentally stubbed his toe. It destroyed the entire state of Ohio."
"If a lady ever jumped out of my cake goddamnit she better be holding more cake"
"A guy goes to a $5 lady of the night... ... and he gets crabs. So the next day, he goes back to complain. And the woman says, ""Hey, it was only $5. What did you expect, lobster?"""
"""Wow! Can you believe it's almost June already?!"" YES DEB, I AM WHOLLY MYSTIFIED BY THE NATURAL PROGRESSION OF TIME ON PLANET EARTH"
"I'm so broke.. .. that when my Identiy was stolen today and LifeLock called me and said I now have no money in my bank account. I was like, ""Sweet! I'm no longer in debt"""
"I went shopping yesterday and bought myself a ring binder. I haven't been able to do a shit since..."
"What is the difference between a cock and a penis? A cock is an animal. Penis is a male sexual organ."
"Where do you find a no-legged dog? Right where you left it."