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Joke of the Day

"Baby elephants migrate hundreds of miles to find water. My 6 year old is lying on the floor of the mall because I made him walk from the car"

"What do you call a Mexican child molester? A Pedrophile"

"What do Coors Light and sex on the beach have in common? They're both fucking close to water. (credit goes to my dad for this one...)"

"I hear that the Feds raided Pfizer this morning For harboring a ""weapon of mass erection"""

"What did the pirate say when he turned 80? aye matey"

"How many politicians does it take to change a light bulb? Two: One to change it, and the other one to change it back again."

"I always keep gluten next to my bed in case a hipster breaks into my house in the middle of the night."

"Why do elephants prefer peanuts to caviar? Because they're easier to get at the ballpark."

"Why did the chicken run across the road? She was worried the egg would get there first."

"""Mom? Don't freak out, but I'm in the hospital..."" ""Peter, you've reposted that joke for over 8 years now, please stop flooding the subreddit with that."""