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Joke of the Day

"How do you circumcise a redneck? Kick his sister in the jaw. ^^^^^I'm ^^^^^going ^^^^^to ^^^^^hell ^^^^^for ^^^^^this ^^^^^:("

"Why did Princess Diana cross the road? She wasn't wearing a seatbelt."

"Dominos pizza delivery cars should be allowed to use sirens."

"So how long do I have to microwave this spider before I let it bite me?"

"Who would guess that people will fight to get into trains heading for German camps."

"Did you hear the one about the man with a big procrastination problem? Eh, I'll tell you later."

"Why did the bicycle fall over? Because it was two-tired"

"What's the difference between Bill and Hillary Clinton? One wants their aides to keep their mouth closed, the other wants them to keep their mouth open."

"My girlfriend just texted me this: Babe,myspacebarisbroken.IneedanalternativeASAP! Anybody know what 'ternative' means?"

"Sometimes when I'm puking I worry I might be pregnant then I remember I'm not Mary And that requires sex Then I laugh And keep puking"