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Joke of the Day
"What happens when you come across lion? Wipe it off and say sorry."
Next Joke
"What did the salesman at footlocker say to the customer? Shoes wisely"
"My laziness is exactly as the number 8. If it lays down, it becomes infinite."
"[sees girl reading Lord of the Rings] ""Ah I love that book. The way that guy is just [clenches fist] the Lord of all those freakin rings."""
"the worst part of this guy catching me masturbating to a Highlights magazine is looking him in the eye for an hour while he cleans my teeth."
"I saw that Caitlin Jenner was missing... On the side of a half-and-half carton"
"If I see under 30s getting married, I want to kiss them for their optimism and punch them for their stupidity."
"What's the use of happiness? It can't buy you money."
"What happens in Vegas stays in Vegas, what happens in Japan stays in Japan Until she turns 18, that is."
"Why would anyone come on Twitter JUST to argue? Don't you have an ex, or a spouse, or a family member that you can argue with?"