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Joke of the Day

"Kristen Stewart is unable to be here today, so accepting the award on her behalf is this large bowl of cold mashed potatoes."

"ok so when a guy marries four women does he wear four rings or just ONE RING TO RULE THEM ALL?"

"I tried to be domestic & cook. Microwave is on fire. A waffle maker, 3 pans, a toaster & my neighbors cat in the trash. Making soup is HARD!"

"A deckhand comes up to the pirate captain. ""The cannons be ready, Captain,"" he reports. *""Are,""* the captain scornfully replies."

"What did the Minotaur order at Starbucks? Half calf"

"A new study has shown that women who get more sleep have better sex. Unfortunately, the study was conducted by Bill Cosby."

"Misty's boss says to her: ""You've been late to work for 5 days straight! You know what this means, don't you?"" ..... ...to which Misty replied ""I SURE do! It means today must be FRIDAY!!!"""

"In American politics, what's important is that you pick one of two equally bad sides and defend it no matter the awful garbage it produces"

"Two drums and a cymbal fall off a cliff... ... Buh dum pshh!"

"What's a Sudanese child's favourite TV channel? Khartoum Network."