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Joke of the Day

"People who misuse apostrophes can go to he'll. (OC)"

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"Every time you reach under the couch for something a giant spider must choose whether or not to give up its secure location."
"I dated my financial advisor for like a year but I lost interest."
"Interviewer: What's your strength? Candidate: I fall in love easily. Interviewer: What's your weakness? Candidate: Those blue eyes of yours."
"I haven't spoken to my wife in 8 days because she hates it when I interrupt her"
"What kind of church music do they sing in Finland? FINNISH HYMN!"
"I just read on the news that 10 Paralympics athletes have failed a drugs test They all tested positive for WD40"
"""Help! I can't get my jogging trousers off!"" ""We'll have to perform an emergency trackybottomy"""
"A guest checked in and informed us that his plane had a ton of delays throughout the day. I replied ""well, at least it didn't disappear, eh?"""
"Fat joke You are so fat, your shadow died from a heart attack."