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Joke of the Day

"A Jewish guy at my restaurant loves croutons Specifically, burnt croutons. I can understand why, he knows their pain"

"I live in a bizarre future where a featureless black slab suddenly starts glowing in order to inform me that the world likes my jokes"

"Just printed out 50 copies of today's weather forecast to carry around with me today because I'm just not in the mood for small talk."

"People who say ""I hate to bother you"" need to learn to hate it a little bit more."

"""..all the king's horses & all the king's men couldn't get Humpty together again"" *raises hand* What guy thought horses might figure it out?"

"Q: Why do ducks have big flat feet? A: To stamp out forest fires."

"Did you hear about the blonde who froze to death at the drive in theater? She went to see Closed for the winter."

"My friend is so stupid that he thinks twice before saying nothing."

"Why do the French only have one egg for breakfast? Because one egg is un oeuf."

"What cologne do engineers wear? Elon's musk"