107968

Joke of the Day

"What do you call a trip to Spain gone horribly wrong? A Spain in the ass."

"What do Nagasaki and Tehran have in common??? Nothing... yet."

"The lottery gives you a 1 in 200 million chance you won't go to work tomorrow. Alcohol gives you 1 in 5. You play your game; I'll play mine."

"This Uber driver is the worst. I can't roll down the windows, he keeps asking questions, the doors won't open, and now his siren is blaring."

"News Headline: ""Nasa finds crack in Space Shuttle"" Well its got to get pretty boring up there on those long space flights."

"Okay restaurants. Enough with the clever bathroom signs. A simple M and F will do. Sincerely, drunk people."

"You can't spell Meek Mill.. ..without two consecutive L's."

"Is your refrigerator running? Because if so, I might vote for it."

"ME: I'm heading to the shop ROOMMATE: What are you going to get? ME: [wearing a wedding dress] Compliments"

"What's the difference between a German and a Scot? The German knows when he's not speaking English."