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Joke of the Day
"You can tell a lot about a person based on how long it takes them to find the gun emoji."
Next Joke
"A man goes into a library asking for a book on suicide... The librarian says ""F*** off, you won't bring it back."""
"Boss: Good suggestions at the staff meeting today, Bill. Me: I talk in my sleep?"
"It's too tight Girl: It's too tight! Boy: Don't worry, I'll do it slowly Girl: Push it in! Boy: Ah, I can't... Girl: It's painful... Boy: Forget it. I'll just buy a new wedding ring"
"Why did the citizen run for Sewer Commissioner? He thought it was his civic doodie!"
"My wife got mad at me for my long-term addiction to watching Bruce Willis movies. I told her old habits die hard"
"My girlfriend told me to stop pretending to be a flamingo I had to put my foot down"
"How can you find Will Smith in the snow? Because he's black"
"Just a heads up guys, M. Night Shyamalan dug a hole in my backyard and has been filming Mark Wahlberg yelling at it for 6 months now."
"You know who's even bigger than Ariana Grande? Ariana Venti."