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Joke of the Day

"How do you tell if you've lost an argument on Facebook? Well first you're are in an argument on Facebook."

"I would tell you an Ebola joke... But you probably won't get it"

"I decided to live at the gym, it was free! Because of squatter's rights."

"My 5 year old is looking all over the house for his drumsticks but he won't have any luck finding them without a shovel."

"George, are you high? No mom. The smell is incense, my eyes are red from browsing reddit for hours, and I'm just keeping that unicorn here until Tim comes back from Florida."

"Getting rejected by women? Try my new question: ""If I were to ask you out, would you say no?"" Sometimes it just feels good to get a ""Yes""."

"What do you call cheese that doesn't belong to you? NA'CHO CHEESE"

"The concept of Santa is great because you can give your kids crappy gifts and they only have themselves to blame."

"A three-legged dog walks into an old-timey saloon ""I'm lookin' for the man who shot my Paw."" (I know it's old but I'm feeling really down and this joke cheers me up.)"

"When I get a dog, I am going to name him Franz Ferdinand So I can take him out (I tried)"