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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between Super Man and Spider Man ? Super Man wears his underwear over his pants.."

"Lonely fisherman I am an excellent fly fisher. Every time my fly goes down, fishes come flocking. I am happy with what i get. But the world is filled with jealous folks, they call me master-baiter."

"Why can't clocks keep secrets? Because, time will always tell."

"Sure reading a book under a tree is peaceful but imagine how stressful it is for the tree to see a bunch of it's dead friends in your hand."

"What spins really fast, then gets shot by zookeepers? Harambeyblades . . . . This might be the stupidest fucking joke I've written in months."

"Mute goes to a wedding... After the ceremony he won't let go of his dick and everyone's a little put off by his public display. With his free hand, he signs ""Speak now or forever hold your peace""."

"What did the right boob say to the left boob? ""You're my breast friend"""

"An apple a day can keep ANYONE away if you throw it really hard at their face"

"Did you guys hear about the kidnapping? He woke up."

"I have the cutest bird in the world... ...a Jackd'awww."