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Joke of the Day

"I finally found out how Asians have an upper hand in video games! Squint your eyes. You see much better, right? Well Asians eyes are always squinted!"

"In the 1970s, a team of racist office supply scientists invented the whiteboard with an evil plan to replace every blackboard in the world."

"What do you get when you mix a lesbian and a platypus? A lickalottapus."

"What is ET short for? So he can fit in the spaceship."

"Why couldn't JFK be a boxer? He couldn't take shots to the head."

"Earth is huge. There must be like 9 or 10 different countries on this thing."

"Is there anything better than a good ol pat on the back.. to help you get out that last stubborn turd lodged up your sphincter?"

"If this evening got any more bland and disappointing it would be a menu item at Applebee's."

"What's the difference between a thug and a pirate's dad? One's poppin' caps, and the other's cap'n pops!"

"Why was Yoda afraid of 7? Because 6, 7 8."