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Joke of the Day

"Just finished reading a book on Stockholm Syndrome. I really didn't like the first couple of chapters, but by the end I loved it."

"if you just show up to a delivery room in scrubs and carry a videocamera you can usually film like 7 or 8 births before they throw you out"

"I'm 40 and my girlfriend is 20. We were at a bar tonight and people kept giving us dirty looks. Totally ruined our 10th anniversary."

"Ordering a cake over the phone ""And what would you like the cake to say?"" [covers phone to ask wife] ""Honey, do we want a talking cake?"""

"What do you call a skinny misogynist? Skinny or fat, I find that they prefer to think of themselves as ""egalitarian""."

"I'd like to tell you about two things: reverse psychology and recycling. But, nah, Reddit wouldn't wanna hear it..."

"I visited my doctor last week, and he told me I had to stop masturbating. I asked him why, surely it's not dangerous. He said it was distracting him."

"So the power went out during the Superbowl (Texans Joke) Better get J.J Watt!"

"I once ate a watch. It was time consuming, I didn't go back for seconds."

"My girl stayed true and my dog didn't die, I'm sober ~no country song ever."