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Joke of the Day

"Where will you find the best jokes? Not on /r/jokes"

"A lot of people tell me that I'm funny... So I guess it's a good thing that looks aren't everything"

"Raccoons are like hobos, they live outside plus they don't like being shaved while they're eating."

"Dot [limerick] There once was a woman named Dot, who lived off of pig-shit and snot. When she ran out of these, she ate the green cheese, that grew on the sides of her twat."

"Why are Americas so Hung up on the constitution? It's fucking ancient."

"My problem is that I keep stealing things when I go Christmas shopping. Can you give me something for it! Doctor: Try this medicine...and if it doesn't work come back and bring me a new video camera."

"Why is the sport of cricket called cricket? A: **Because it's boring.** *Was told this by a 10 year old, and didn't quite get it at first, but I think it's rather genius.*"

"I'm a bit worried. I was checking my testicles this morning, and I noticed that one of them... ...is considerably larger than the other two."

"Knock Knock....who's there? SUPRISE MUTHER FUCKER!"

"I work in retail, a married man made me laugh Me: Hi sir, can I help you? Him: Nah I'm just looking for my wife Me: Oh sorry, we don't sell wives here Him: Good! Else you'd get a lot of returns!"