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Joke of the Day

"A man is buying a banana, an apple and two eggs. The female cashier says: ""You must be single."" The man answers: ""Wow, how did you know?"" Cashier: ""Because you're ugly."""

"What do you call an integral that doesn't like derivatives? An anti-derivative."

"What do you call a Polish fisherman? A fishing pole."

"whats black on top and white on the bottom? rape"

"Wife: How many beers is that for you today, dear? Me: Like 4 maybe. 5 tops. Wife: I counted 19. Me: Well I rounded down."

"What did they say about the blind man who got hit by a bus? He never saw it coming."

"I was telling my friend a joke. ""There was this gorilla... ..."" ""I fucking swear, if this is another Harambe joke, I..."" ""Well, thanks for killing it."""

"A woman is like a delicate, Spring flower... ...I have really bad seasonal allergies, so I just tend to get my fix by looking at pictures of them online."

"did you hear about the miners' new album? i really dig it"

"My wife was gang raped, impregnated and gave birth to a baby boy named Muhammed. Now they want to kill us for depicting the Prophet Muhammad."