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Joke of the Day

"What's the difference between David Lee Roth and Snoop Lion? David Lee Roth was in Van Halen Snoop Lion was in a van in halen"

"When my dogs crawl into bed with me, I like to pretend it's because they love me and not because I am sleeping in their dog bed on the floor"

"My first blow job was over 20 years ago now... And some days I wonder if that taste will ever go away?"

"Did you hear bout the new iphone with professional camera? Its called the eyephone."

"Why did the snowman have his pants down? Because he heard the snowblower was coming."

"I got fired from the sperm bank today.. Apparently they frown upon drinking on the job."

"So the current Prime Minister of the UK just blocked compulsory sex education in schools.. I guess he doesn't want children to be able to identify a cunt."

"What do you call a detective novel about eskimos? Whodinuit"

"Why was the baby elf sad? Because he was Legolas"

"You know what they say about vasectomies... There's a vas deferens between the good ones and the bad ones. Thought of this yesterday, probobally done before but whatever"