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Joke of the Day

"I'm having fruit salad for dinner. Well, it's mostly grapes actually. Okay, all grapes. Fermented grapes. I'm having wine for dinner."

"Don't reply to nuclear reactors that say they're ugly. They're just fission for compliments."

"I wonder if women in China complain that all guys are the same."

"How do you confuse an AP student? Make the first 21 questions all be the answer C."

"How can you tell that your waitress is having a bad day? She has a tampon behind her ear and she can't find her pencil."

"She might be Satan, but if I'm going to hell, I want to be sleeping with the boss."

"Your perfume/cologne should reward someone for getting close, not punish them for being in the same building."

"How can you tell if someone is a pilot? They'll just tell you."

"A woman is like a parachute can refuse at any time, that's why you need to have a spare one."

"What do you call a boomerang that doesn't come back? Dad."