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Joke of the Day

"I was reading the book ""Great Expectations"" by Charles Dickens. It wasn't as good as I hoped it would be."

"I was at a gas station and I accidentally filled up my escort with diesel. She died."

"I was just minding my own, listening to some Led Zeppelin, and this girl asked if it was Nickelback and now there's so much blood everywhere"

"Get all the protein you can before you die because there's no whey in Hell"

"One horribly inappropriate comment and you'll never be shown another baby photo at work ever again. Totally worth it."

"I was being recruited for suicide bombing... I asked the recruiter, ""what are the perks of being a suicide bomber?"" And he replied, ""well, for starters, you get to go all over the place!"""

"Bill cosby is like life They both end up fucking you"

"What does a vegan zombie eat? GRAAAIIINNNSSS!!!!"

"I saw a photon go by... ...it seemed friendly, but it didn't wave."

"Disabled toilets. Ironically, the only toilet stalls big enough to run around in."