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Joke of the Day

"I was reading the book ""Great Expectations"" by Charles Dickens. It wasn't as good as I hoped it would be."

"I walked into a locker room today, and saw a bunch of members of Donald Trump's new administration standing around completely nude... ... I've never seen so many Goldman sacks!"

"ENGLAND: people are CROSSING OUR BORDERS for ECONOMIC ADVANCEMENT!!! THE ENTIRE GODDAMNED WORLD FROM LIKE 1583 to 1997: u don't say"

"Why the plus or minus on the pregnancy test, ept? How about a simple yes or no and we'll decide if that's positive or negative."

"I'm starting a new abortion clinic and naming it... Scrambled Eggs."

"What do Michael Jackson and someone that come in second place have in common? They both cum in a little behind!"

"The tree and the wind. What does a tree say after it gets knocked over by the wind? I went out on a limb."

"What do you call a computer that sings? A Dell"

"Why did Beethoven love playing low notes. Higher notes weren't worth the the treble."

"So a man buying stolen goods gets caught, and is given one phone call, who does he call? His de-fence attorney!"