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Joke of the Day

"My pet lizard was acting really strange the other day so I took it to the vet. She said it was a reptile dysfunction."

"how do you wake lady gaga up? poke her face"

"Fucking dirigibles."

"Stereotypes are just like regular types, except every time someone almost kills me, while I'm driving, it's an Asian person."

"If you're a monkey, your shit's always bananas."

"Some people have 32 teeth. Others have 10. It's simple meth."

"Where are things that are very average produced? The satis-factory."

"I like to hide condom wrappers in my married friends pockets."

"I had a Bernie supporters joke..... But most of them don't work."

"Why does a chicken coup have two doors? If it had four doors it would be a chicken sedan!"