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Joke of the Day

"What do wearing Crocs and receiving a blowjob have in common? It feels great at first, and then you look down and realize you're gay."

"The fact that Fred Flintsone ate brontosaurus burgers seems less charming when you realize Dino was also a brontosaurus."

"If at first you don't succeed, GREAT. Now you know not to waste your time on that ever again. Fuck that shit. Lesson learned."

"If you want to hide something from me, put it on my voicemail."

"You can't trust a mule with an important task. They'll just half-ass it."

"The Longest Joke In The World http://longestjokeintheworld.com/"

"An atheist and a vegan walks into a bar... I know that because they told everybody."

"Want to know how to not get malware? To late, you already clicked the link."

"Can you tell me what you call a person from Corsica? Course a can."

"Shout out to people who block me cuz it hurts their feelings I occasionally fav them without following. You can also just ask me to stop :/"