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Joke of the Day

"How many surrealists does it take to change a lightbulb? A fish"

"How to decide whether to get A Black PS4 or a White PS4! Well it's really quite simple! It's what you prefer! The Black PS4s run faster however the White PS4s have a better future!"

"Why can't trigonometry teachers give good speeches? They go off onto different tangents."

"I almost died last night. I woke up at 3am and MY FOOT WAS HANGING OFF THE EDGE OF THE BED. NOT EVEN UNDER THE COVERS."

"I've been stealing retainers and throwing them in a swamp so that in 1000 or so year archeologists think it's an ancient nerd burial ground"

"There is no snooze button on a dog that wants to go out for a piss."

"I have a theory that consuming little bits of peanut butter encased in colored candy shells provokes silly rhymes. I call it my Reeces Pieces Thesis. . . . . I'll see myself out."

"Why wouldn't Kurt Cobain let you charge your phone at his house? ...the guy likes his power chords too much."

"Why does more black people get run over during the day? You can't see them when it is night."

"Why did the blonde girl get fired from the M&M factory? She kept throwing away all the W's."