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Joke of the Day

"LEGOLAS: You have my bow. GIMLI: And my ax. [Everyone looks at me, closely guarding my sandwich] ME: You can have a SMALL bite."

"On the Mexican side of the US-Mexico border, there are guards. On the US side, there are trampolines."

"My secret ingredient is letting somebody else cook."

"My grandfather told me this joke. A man jumps off a skyscraper. Halfway down, he says: ""so far so good"""

"Why is oral sex with your wife like being interviewed by the police? One slip of the tongue and your in the shit."

"What do you call a Jew that can fly? Smoke"

"What does the NFL season and the national anthem have in common? Kaepernick is gonna sit through them both."

"Why isn't Hitler invited to the barbecue? Because he always burns the franks"

"Dark Humor is like food... Not everybody gets it."

"Nothing warms the heart more than a father teaching his son how to clear his history."