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Joke of the Day

"You think you know someone, then you find out they like porn with a plot."

"Oldie but goody... What's the opposite of Christopher Reeves? Christopher Walken"

"Me: Do you ever feel like you're an imposter? Psychiatrist: Get out of my chair Me: Interesting *writes 'thinks he's the psychiatrist'*"

"I've got a conspiracy joke that no one would believe, even though the punchline is in plain sight."

"Why couldn't Snape be a Herbology teacher? Because he wasn't able to keep the Lilies alive."

"Did you hear about player safety in the super bowl? Both teams suffered from blackouts"

"What did the waitress say to the man who wouldn't stop staring at her while she refilled his glass? Take a pitcher, it'll last longer!"

"Love my pillow so much because it doesn't leave my house in the morning after spending the night with me."

"We all have that one friend who returns our yacht a little too clean."

"How can you use a banana as a compass? Place a banana on the Berlin Wall. East is where a bite has been taken out of it. [Source](http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/East_Germany_jokes)"