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Joke of the Day

"The little Jack to his mom : Mommy, I'm fed up with sleeping with Jimmy ! Don't tell that again, you know we can afford funerals for him !"

"If I see someone stumble, catch themselves, & madly start looking about to see if anyone saw, I always make sure I make direct eye contact."

"A Polish person went to have their eyes tested. The eye test chart read: N Y X C S F R U Z. The optom asked, can you read any of those letters?' read it?' the polish person answered, i know him!'"

"I swallowed some food coloring. My doctor says I'm OK But I feel like I've dyed a little inside"

"How come there are no Olympics in Mexico? Because all of the Mexicans that can run jump and swim are already in America."

"Cannibal Did you hear about the cannibal who passed his friend In the forest?"

"What body movements alert you that a politician is lying? His lips are moving."

"Why did the man with acute bronchitis go on holiday? Because he had a wee cough"

"War is not the answer Unless, ""What is the opposite of peace?"" is the question."

"Somebody stole my Thanksgiving turkey... I suspect fowl play (IT'S THANKSGIVING TOMORROW! HAPPY THANKSGIVING!!)"