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Joke of the Day
"What did the banana say to the orange? Fruit can't talk"
Next Joke
"How do you get a Jewish girl's number? Just check her arm"
"This o is out of cntext."
"boy: you have really pretty eyes... me: *suspicious* thank you...??? boy: *leans in slowly* me: NO!!!! You cant have them!!!!!"
"Every day I spend a few hours on a running track. Next week I might even turn it on."
"I like my memes the way I like my freudian slips Send dudes"
"Told my friends I couldn't make it to happy hour. Didn't tell them it's because I want to sit around sans pants and eat cheese for a while."
"What's red and orange and looks good on hippies.... Fire."
"If a tree falls on a woman... And nobody is around to hear it. Why was there a tree in the kitchen?"
"One time a guy left a full glass of sangria behind on a first date and I pretended I forgot my sunglasses so I could run back and chug it."