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Joke of the Day

"I once dated a homeless girl. splitting the bill wasn't always easy but at least after our date I could drop her off anywhere."

"What do you call a person who delivers Indian food? Currier."

"Voting this year will be like going to the dentist... No one wants to do it, but we all know we should for our own good."

"Having kids means you'll have a lot of interrupted conversa--"

"The World Cup has an official song. The official anthem is ""We Will Find a Way."" It narrowly beat out the other contender, ""I Feel Someone's Teeth in My Shoulder."""

"Just heard a guy at the dog park tell his dog ""NO!"" and then more quietly, ""We talked about this!"""

"Why is Islam called the religion of peace? After you leave the religion, you rest in peace."

"Life is like toilet paper, you're either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole."

"Ford, Fiat, BMW Fix Or Repair Daily Fix It Again Tony Break My Window"

"I ate a small Wookie steak for dinner... ...it was a little Chewie."